Healthy Weight Fantasies/Goals

First off, I wanted to say another quick thank-you for all of the supportive comments I received on my last blog post. Each one of them was very helpful. Weight loss can seem like an awfully lonely endeavor at times. I guess this is because at the end of the day we each have to face whatever demons led us to this predicament in the first place. I know my journey is about so much more than calories in vs. calories out and exercise...although that's a big part of the equation as well. I managed to stay on plan since my last post (did not exercise Thursday and Friday though), although I felt like the wind was let out of my sails. I feel like I am beyond a point where I can backtrack. So, I am making yet more lifestyle changes...getting up earlier to allow for some elliptical.

On a lighter note...

I just wanted to share a few *healthy weight* fantasies/goals that seem to help when I get the urge to eat, or feel a little tired/fed up...which has been a little to often lately, but I'm coming out of my self imposed funk. These are things that I picture myself being able to do (usually with my little girl) with relative ease once the weight has been shed, and each one is a very reasonable and attainable goal...

1. Kayaking...I have always wanted to learn how to kayak. Right now I just wouldn't fit comfortably.  Lake Washington is within walking distance of my house. I drive past people during their kayak lessons all the time. I would love to be able to do this with my daughter someday. I have always found the water to be very peaceful. This one also includes swimming in public.

2. Hiking...I used to be an avid hiker. I would have to say hiking is my recreational exercise of choice. There is just something about being in the woods that recharges my batteries. I know that taking off the weight will do my joints a world of good, and allow me to take long hikes again, without such a risk of injury. There are so many trails in my area just waiting to be explored.

3. Disney World!!! I went there once when I was eleven-years-old, and I have been trying to get back ever since. Now that I am a parent I have an even more plausible excuse to go. :0) I love that kinda stuff, and am a kid at heart. This one also encompasses my roller coaster fantasy. I used to go to Cedar Point once every summer as a kid, until I got too big for the rides. I know a lot of heavy people miss amusement parks.

4. Biking...I kept popping the tire of the last bike I owned. I was 250 lbs then. Maybe I needed a better bike? Anyway, I would love to get one of those parent/child tandem bikes. I see them all the time. Along with lots of hiking trails in my area are tons of biking trails.

5. Martial arts....just something I have always wanted to try. I want to take a class with my daughter. I think it will be a wonderful tool for building confidence.

What I like about these fantasies/goals is that they involve recreational exercise (my very favorite kind of exercise). I actually picture myself doing these things when I need a boost, and not a single one of them is far fetched...someday I will be doing each of them on a regular basis (besides Disney of course, but wouldn't that be fun?) Some of my access to these things right now is due to the fact that my daughter is only 16-months-old....but honestly, if she was eight and I was still this heavy I doubt I'd be doing any of the activities I mentioned.

All this being said, I believe that the time to live is now. I keep trying to push myself to find new parks and activities to explore. But, I take comfort knowing that I'm working so hard to stay on a path that will open up my world.

Take care,

Angie

Getting Harassed While On My Walk...nice

I could use a little advice. Tonight while I was taking my walk a man yelled: "Walk faster, you'll lose more WEIGHT!" I admit it, this really upset me. The confident, rational, grown-up *me* knows that the man who yelled this is 1. a coward, seeing that he was cloaked by darkness, and 2. pathetic...who gets their jollies harassing overweight women as they try to take a walk...I mean really?

The scared, embarrassed, still feels like a little girl getting picked on *me* wants to run and hide, anything to protect myself from thoughtless comments like that. I even considered not taking my nightly walk anymore, if only for a moment.

What really upset me is that I let this creep get under my skin. When it happened I just kept walking (it was dark, and I was alone). But, for the rest of my walk I fumed, and thought of witty comebacks, and ways I could have confronted the guy. As soon as I walked in the door though and saw my husband I burst into tears. I was so embarrassed, and angry.

This just stinks. I was feeling on top of the world during my walk, and then whamo! I know I am a strong person who happens to struggle when it comes to eating. Obesity has been a life long battle for me. This doesn't make me *bad* and I know I have as much right to walk down the street with her head up as anyone else.

So, I ask this of anyone who reads this...how do you handle harassment over your weight? Does it ever happen to you? Does it make you feel like your back in middle school? What the heck should I do if I encounter this man again, and he continues to harass me?

I feel a little better already after venting a little. Mean people suck.

Angie

Keeping the Lid on the Id

Taken Saturday on ferry going to Bainbridge Island, WA

I had a tough week off and on working through crazy eating urges, but managed to stay 100% on plan, and lost another four pounds. I kept on asking myself what I was really feeling when the desire to eat rose to the surface of my brain. Usually, the answer was stress. I would go into all of the particulars of my life, but I didn't make this blog anonymous. Just the run of the mill boring everyday stuff. 

Stress will always be a presence in all of our lives. At this point, eating through it is no longer an option. I feel a moral responsibility to be healthy for my daughter...to control the things that I can control. When I was single I lived in constant fear of giving into my urges to eat (especially after losing a lot of weight). I didn't want all of my progress to slip through my fingers.

Now, I feel an almost unshakable resolve. It's still tough as hell. So, my resolve isn't about me thinking weight loss is easy, because it is not. My resolve comes from the fact that the stakes are so high. I always try to keep that in mind.

Keep going strong,

Angie

Saturday Weigh-In

Time for another Saturday morning weigh-in. Today's weight: 286.0 lbs. Woo hoo! It's always nice to hit a new decade. That is a four pound loss for the week. I've been on my mission to regain my health for exactly eight weeks today, and have taken off 37 lbs. so far. I have a long way to go, but feel like I have a firm start under my belt. I am so thankful that I have been able to muster up the strength to start this journey. Starting is so darn difficult, but there is no way around it. Got to do the work.

Today's goal, and I say this to myself with the utmost love and respect..."Angie, don't be a dumb ass." Meaning, a loosen the reins day isn't an excuse to go bat sh#$! My Saturday's have been pretty darn reasonable so far, especially last Saturday.  I'm still not ready to let my them go. At this point I know it is a crutch, but the thought of going without it makes me want to pack the whole thing in. I'm working on this.

I have Boar's Head turkey, a little cheddar, cottage cheese, and maybe an apple planned.

Happy Saturday to all. :0)

   

Eat Your Veggies!!!

This picture depicts the current contents of my freezer (bags and bags of Steamfresh frozen veggies), along with Tyson Grilled and Ready chicken breast fillets.   When I finally decided to retake control of my health, using brute force if necessary, I knew I would need a meal plan that fit four extremely important criteria...

1. convenience: All of my food is microwavable. The vegetables steam right in the bag. I have a toddler. Said toddler threw her favorite self propelled electronic vtech ball in the toilet yesterday, and then promptly fell in the bathtub...head first. Thank goodness she was fine, not even phased. I was freaked out. I had only turned my back for a sec. The bathroom door hadn't been shut. I'm still shaken. This is a typical day for me. I am on constant baby patrol. Cooking is beyond a chore right now. Carryout and take-in's are easy. So, I think I've found a wonderful alternative to see me through my weight loss.
2. Taste: I actually *like* chicken and veggies. I guess chicken and vegetables are considered to be a cliche diet meal. I enjoy my three meals/per day. The chicken has a nice grilled flavor, and the vegetables are really high quality...not all frozen veggies are created equal. I sometimes season the vegetables with a little Tabasco sauce, or sodium free salsa by Frogranch.
3. Health: The chicken breasts have 110 cals, 24 grams of protein, 230mg sodium, and 1.5g fat. The sodium content is what sold me on them. Most premade chicken products are chocked full of salt. All of my veggies have no added sodium as well. I eat three bags of frozen vegetables daily. That's a whopping 2 1/4 lbs.! I also eat three chicken breasts daily, and a tablespoon of flax oil to bump up my fat. All told, my daily intake is...100g protein, 92-100carbs, 17g fat. I keep the sodium low as well. This totals 1,000 cals per day. So far, I feel very healthy.
4. Cost: I shop at Target. If you don't, I suggest giving it a try. I looked around, and Target has by far the cheapest prices on these items. The vegetables would cost upwards of $3.00/bag in the grocery store. I pay between 1.40-1.99 for most of mine. The chicken costs $7.99 for 6-7 pieces...way more at the grocery store.

There you have it. I was/am very interested in the medifast plan, but I have found that supplements tend to leave me feeling lacking in energy and a little sick. So, I decided on an entirely lean and green approach. I'm not sick of it yet. On really good days I almost forget to eat...sometimes it's still tough as heck though, but I can feel my food addiction fading. I just wanted to share this plan with anyone who happens by. :0) 

P.S. If either Steamfresh or Tyson wants a new spokeswoman, I'm available!

    

Do Whatever It Takes

I wonder what kind of lifestyle changes other people are making in order to get healthy, and stay the course? I have made some pretty big changes in my life in order to get back on track towards better health. About eight weeks ago I had a conversation with my husband that went something like this...

Husband: You mean just turning the television off won't be enough to keep you from watching it?

Me: Nope. I think we need to cancel the Netflix as well.

Husband: So, that should do it?

Me: Better remove the television cables as well....and hide them while your at it.

Husband: Ok baby doll, I love you.

This was a huge first step for me. I had gotten into the horrible habit of watching a movie every night after putting my child to bed. Something about television makes me want to eat. I was the kid who always ate in front of the tv. In fact, I think every binge I have ever had was while watching the *fat box* as I like to call it (no offense to any tv lovers out there). I could easily pack away 2,000-3,000 cals during a movie. So, I have a 62" blank screen dominating my living room. I barely even notice it anymore.


My husband, daughter, and I live in a small condo. Right next to the 62" blank screen sits my giant, hulking beast of an elliptical. I love my elliptical, and it is affectionately named Optimus Prime because it folds and looks like a Transformer. The elliptical occupies the space where I *would* put my Christmas tree. I love Christmas, but I love life even more.

Also, I have stopped going to restaurants, drive-thrus, or getting carry out of any kind. At this stage in my recovery I find all prepared food to be overly stimulating. I think being able to eat one taco or something, and then stop is an advanced skill. I will probably work on this at some point well into the maintenance stage, but I feel it is so much more important to protect the progress I have made so far.

One final big change I have made is in my environment. There isn't a spec of unhealthy food in my house. I'm trying to create fail safe surroundings. This was no easy task. My husband is very supportive, but would still sometimes bring tempting food into the house (mostly on the weekends). I had to swallow my guilt and ask/explain to him several times that being around the tempting foods was jeopardizing my progress. I told him that I was sorry that having a pint of Ben and Jerry's in the freezer was just too much for me at this stage, but it just is. Could he give me some time to get healthier and stronger? He agreed.

I know a lot of couples struggle with that last one. My hubby still slips with this sometimes, and I keep asking/explaining. I think we have gotten to a point where we are on the same page. I'm grateful for this. It really helps.

There's a whole lot more, but the above are just a few examples of the ways I have tweaked my lifestyle in order to keep shedding the weight. 

The Versatile Blogger x 2

I would like to say a big thanks to both Michele and Polar's Mom for the award nomination. This is a big motivational boost for a new blogger like myself.

The rules of this award are...

1.  Thank the person who gave you the award.

2. Share seven things about yourself.

3. Nominate 15 newly discovered blogs.

4. Let your nominees know about the award.



Since I already said my thank-you to Polar's Mom and Michele I'll go on to the seven things about myself part...

1. I moved to the Seattle area from Detroit, MI only a little over two years ago. Same country and all, but I still experienced a huge culture shock. Truth be told, I love my new home, but I am still adjusting. I miss automatically knowing my area like the back of my hand.

2. I began my previous weight loss journey on May 1st, 2007. I lost 150 lbs., but regained 123 of those pounds (after) the birth of my daughter. Some of you already know that, but it's a big part of who I am today, and my current approach to getting, and staying healthy.

3. My husband and I met online. Yes, it really can happen. I love technology!

4.  Fall is my very favorite season. This time of year feels like a rebirth to me. Crunchy leaves, baked apples (healthy version), Halloween, and the fast approaching Christmas season just do it for me. I practically turn my home into a haunted house each fall. Maybe I should charge admission?

5. I was bitten by the travelling bug when I was eighteen-years-old. On my first big trek I decided to pack a bag and travel the country with practically nothing in my pocket (except lint). I've seen a big chunk of our beautiful country this way, and can't wait to take more road trips once my daughter is a bit older.

6. I do my best thinking, and come to most of life's big decisions in the shower! I can't begin to count how many thesis statement's I've thought up while showering. I think it is sort of like a sensory deprivation tank for me, and allows me to really concentrate on one thing at a time.

7. When I need to recharge my physical/emotional batteries I get to the woods. I'm a big nature girl, although I don't like bugs.


Ok..."11" newly discovered blogs...This was a challenge, since I haven't been blogging long. Some of these I have been reading, and some I just found, but look interesting, current, and like I may be able to relate to their journey.


http://fitandfrugalchallenge.blogspot.com/

http://mbm1forever.blogspot.com/

http://thegreatfitnessexperiment.blogspot.com/

http://taking-it-off-for-life.blogspot.com/

http://weightloss-expedition.blogspot.com/

http://www.peachfriedman.com/blog/

http://theslimdownkate.blogspot.com/

http://missmfinallylosesit.blogspot.com/

http://theaccidentalfatchick.blogspot.com/

http://icannotbelieveiamblogging.blogspot.com/

http://birthdaypromise.blogspot.com/