I have more than 6 1/2 weeks of "mostly" on plan eating under my belt at this point. I have had off plan eating on three separate days. That is a huge accomplishment, but has been enough to stall my weight loss. Despite this, it is starting to feel more and more like regular life. Last Saturday morning (end of week 6) I weighed in at 294.4 lbs. That was what I weighed the Saturday before (wk 5). I was disappointed...I just was. Honestly, I took a shower after weighing in and cried. Then, I felt angry and frustrated with myself for feeling disappointed.
On Friday night I was going on and on to my husband about how different I feel. I am starting to think clearly again...I'm not constantly walking around in a stupor from overeating. Also, I had lost seven pounds the week before that (wk 4)! Weight loss or not, I am changing for the better. My rational brain knows this, but sometimes it takes longer for me to really feel what I already know. Make sense?
I don't need to lose seven pounds a week. I don't know why I did, but I won't apologize for it either. It felt good. I guess I am a little touchy because the last time I lost a significant amount of weight (the 150 lbs.) I faced a lot of criticism for doing it quickly. I was fast becoming an athlete at that point in my life. That, and a low calorie meal plan resulted in rapid weight loss. That was how I was able to do it at the time. Exercise, extreme as it was, kept me motivated.
My approach to a healthy mind and body is proving to be considerably different this time around. I think I'll save that for another post.
Bottom line, I am feeling so much happier and at peace. When I feel frustrated I literally say out loud: "Stop!" and I actually visualize a large red stop sign. It's kind of a cognitive therapy technique. I then (sometimes forcefully) redirect my thoughts to all the positive, non scale progress that I am making. My whole lifestyle is changing. :0)
